Nellaglun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, smart hyena.

Nellaglun created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellaglun, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nellaglun, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nellaglun's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Nellaglun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. Always help tortoises.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.