Fumpomlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, pitiless unicorn.

Fumpomlarg created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumpomlarg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fumpomlarg, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fumpomlarg's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fumpomlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three titanium sculptures of Fumpomlarg on top of important buildings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Never talk about nucleic acids.