Lakfabrak is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring wyrm.

Lakfabrak created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lakfabrak, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lakfabrak, she will be very unhappy.

Lakfabrak's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Lakfabrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt bats.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always look after injured frogs.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. You must pray to Lakfabrak nine times a day.