Bonxinged Nulcitwikarpcisslarpjap is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, kind dove.

Bonxinged Nulcitwikarpcisslarpjap created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bonxinged Nulcitwikarpcisslarpjap, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bonxinged Nulcitwikarpcisslarpjap, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bonxinged Nulcitwikarpcisslarpjap's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bonxinged Nulcitwikarpcisslarpjap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink cats for they are unholy.

2. Never feed limes to otters while wearing red shoes.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Never think about special relativity near doves while wearing purple rings and balancing five titanium spheres on your head.