Garzimnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, awe-inspiring wolf.

Garzimnarl created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garzimnarl, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Garzimnarl, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Garzimnarl's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Garzimnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet cyan.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.