Tigganbom Raprowyarphan Sinragcib is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unthoughtful porpoise.

Tigganbom Raprowyarphan Sinragcib created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigganbom Raprowyarphan Sinragcib, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tigganbom Raprowyarphan Sinragcib, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tigganbom Raprowyarphan Sinragcib's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Tigganbom Raprowyarphan Sinragcib's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven gold sculptures of Tigganbom Raprowyarphan Sinragcib on top of important buildings.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Feed all hungry cats.

4. Worship no other gods but Tigganbom Raprowyarphan Sinragcib.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.