Lambatcut Bossjonzog is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, tranquil weasel.

Lambatcut Bossjonzog created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lambatcut Bossjonzog, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lambatcut Bossjonzog, he will send you a sign.

Lambatcut Bossjonzog's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Lambatcut Bossjonzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Lambatcut Bossjonzog.