Gabdubkon is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful dolphin.

Gabdubkon created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabdubkon, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gabdubkon, she will turn you into a frog.

Gabdubkon's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Gabdubkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near whales while wearing brown dresses.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Gabdubkon on top of all buildings.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.