Catwatkam is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, selfish beaver.

Catwatkam created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Catwatkam, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Catwatkam, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Catwatkam's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Catwatkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about archaea.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not eat beans.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Catwatkam.