Rulcaplip Dagarpgep is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, benevolent chinchilla.

Rulcaplip Dagarpgep created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Rulcaplip Dagarpgep, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rulcaplip Dagarpgep, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Rulcaplip Dagarpgep's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Rulcaplip Dagarpgep's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Never hurt pigs.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Rulcaplip Dagarpgep loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.