Xuctikjonspag is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, benevolent camel.

Xuctikjonspag created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuctikjonspag, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xuctikjonspag, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Xuctikjonspag's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Xuctikjonspag's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cucumbers.

2. Put Xuctikjonspag first in all things.

3. Never feed lots of melons to foxes while wearing turquoise ear rings.

4. Do not take Xuctikjonspag's name in vain.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.