Jonhivhog is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, strong rat.

Jonhivhog created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonhivhog, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jonhivhog, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jonhivhog's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Jonhivhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white shorts.

2. Never leap in the presence of tapirs.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Jonhivhog loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

5. Hide from cyan mites for they are unholy.