Baphakcad is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, loving deer.

Baphakcad created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Baphakcad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Baphakcad, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Baphakcad's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Baphakcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Erect five carbon sculptures of Baphakcad on top of important buildings.

4. Always help great tits.

5. Never bounce near dogs.