Cebflattom Capjabbad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, almighty dugong.

Cebflattom Capjabbad created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cebflattom Capjabbad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cebflattom Capjabbad, he will not care at all.

Cebflattom Capjabbad's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Cebflattom Capjabbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat nuts.

2. Never feed strawberries to otters while wearing cyan dresses.

3. Never mention monkeys.

4. Do not speak about carrots.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near porpoises while wearing brown corsets and balancing six tin spheres on your head.