Ditlarpbess is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking grasshopper.

Ditlarpbess created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditlarpbess, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ditlarpbess, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ditlarpbess' most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Ditlarpbess' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven sheep approach from the south.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always look after injured capybaras.