Tafzubvin is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, moody pig.

Tafzubvin created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafzubvin, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tafzubvin, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tafzubvin's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tafzubvin's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Never eat bark.