Hotsaggov is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable seal.

Hotsaggov created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotsaggov, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hotsaggov, it will make you grow a tail.

Hotsaggov's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Hotsaggov's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Hotsaggov.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about spacetime.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.