Vedvidweg is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, all-powerful bird.

Vedvidweg created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedvidweg, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vedvidweg, it will make you grow a tail.

Vedvidweg's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Vedvidweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never hop near dogs.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Never wear orange stockings.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.