Negbonkwig Jattamnig Fardunyat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, almighty swan.

Negbonkwig Jattamnig Fardunyat created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Negbonkwig Jattamnig Fardunyat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Negbonkwig Jattamnig Fardunyat, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Negbonkwig Jattamnig Fardunyat's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Negbonkwig Jattamnig Fardunyat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near goats while wearing yellow hats and balancing six zinc spheres on your head.

4. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

5. Do not hurt gulls.