Gamsagarm Quatyokgof Carhakrot is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient ant.

Gamsagarm Quatyokgof Carhakrot created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Gamsagarm Quatyokgof Carhakrot, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gamsagarm Quatyokgof Carhakrot, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gamsagarm Quatyokgof Carhakrot's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Gamsagarm Quatyokgof Carhakrot's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to foxes while wearing rings.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Always help turtles.

5. Always help sick squirrels.