Mobvinkem is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, caring mole.

Mobvinkem created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mobvinkem, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mobvinkem, he will turn you into a plant.

Mobvinkem's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Mobvinkem's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Mobvinkem in the centre of the settlement.

3. Erect nine platinum sculptures of Mobvinkem on top of important buildings.

4. You must love Mobvinkem.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.