Logbossnullcadcarquillhanstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, vain giraffe.

Logbossnullcadcarquillhanstaf created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Logbossnullcadcarquillhanstaf, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Logbossnullcadcarquillhanstaf, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Logbossnullcadcarquillhanstaf's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Logbossnullcadcarquillhanstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always treat eagles with great respect.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.