Arnbestquim is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, all-knowing fairy.

Arnbestquim created the Cigar Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Arnbestquim, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Arnbestquim, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Arnbestquim's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Arnbestquim's Holy Commandments

1. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always help monkeys.

4. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

5. Never sing near aardvarks.