Tagpinnarl is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing scorpion.

Tagpinnarl created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagpinnarl, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tagpinnarl, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tagpinnarl's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tagpinnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Do not take Tagpinnarl's name in vain.

3. Never bounce near dogs.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics.