Gebvensug is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, happy capybara.

Gebvensug created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Gebvensug, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gebvensug, she will boil you in a big pot.

Gebvensug's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gebvensug's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near porpoises while wearing fawn ear rings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not speak about pineapples.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.