Dapmetsag is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, weak unicorn.

Dapmetsag created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapmetsag, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dapmetsag, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dapmetsag's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Dapmetsag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not take Dapmetsag's name in vain.

3. Dapmetsag loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not commit murder.