Yarpcetmon Taplenarpwad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, calm unicorn.

Yarpcetmon Taplenarpwad created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcetmon Taplenarpwad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yarpcetmon Taplenarpwad, she will turn you into a rat.

Yarpcetmon Taplenarpwad's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Yarpcetmon Taplenarpwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink jumpers.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Yarpcetmon Taplenarpwad on top of all buildings.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Yarpcetmon Taplenarpwad loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.