Kemdinkik is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthinking zebra.

Kemdinkik created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemdinkik, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kemdinkik, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Kemdinkik's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Kemdinkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green hats.

2. You must pray to Kemdinkik three times a day.

3. Worship no other gods but Kemdinkik.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.