Taltiksug is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, awe-inspiring hyena.

Taltiksug created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Taltiksug, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Taltiksug, he will turn you into a rock.

Taltiksug's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Taltiksug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never paint your head brown.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about optics near seals while wearing green shoes and balancing three tin spheres on your legs.