Gebrantik is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, dishonest wren.

Gebrantik created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebrantik, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gebrantik, she will destroy your home solar system.

Gebrantik's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gebrantik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not hurt gulls.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never feed lots of oranges to squirrels while wearing magenta kilts.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.