Hatpadart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, vain wyvern.

Hatpadart created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatpadart, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hatpadart, she will laugh at you.

Hatpadart's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Hatpadart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near turtles while wearing orange corsets and balancing seven nickel spheres on your head.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not drink alcohol.