Sidstanpark is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing narwhal.

Sidstanpark created the Sombrero Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidstanpark, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Sidstanpark, it will destroy your favourite star.

Sidstanpark's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Sidstanpark's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always help rats.

3. Feed all hungry foxes.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Sidstanpark must be the most important thing in your life.