Bastripvanbus is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, annoying aardvark.

Bastripvanbus created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bastripvanbus, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bastripvanbus, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bastripvanbus' most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Bastripvanbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chromosomes.

2. Feed all hungry tortoises.

3. Erect five silicon sculptures of Bastripvanbus on top of important buildings.

4. Do not kill swans.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.