Ruljabnulltom is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured pig.

Ruljabnulltom created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruljabnulltom, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ruljabnulltom, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Ruljabnulltom's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Ruljabnulltom's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of nuts to nematodes while wearing orange trousers.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Hide from gray foxes for they are unholy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always help eagles.