Cabgabzag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, able parrot.

Cabgabzag created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabgabzag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cabgabzag, it will turn you into a puffin.

Cabgabzag's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Cabgabzag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

5. Do not covet oxen.