Japtim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, dishonourable dugong.

Japtim created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Japtim, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Japtim, he will turn you into a worm.

Japtim's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Japtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never mention cats.

3. Japtim must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Japtim.