Podortcar is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, all-powerful dingo.

Podortcar created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Podortcar, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Podortcar, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Podortcar's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Podortcar's Holy Commandments

1. Podortcar loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Run away if five badgers approach from the east.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Podortcar in the centre of the settlement.