Hadwadbodbetzimtinnul is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, all-knowing skunk.

Hadwadbodbetzimtinnul created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Hadwadbodbetzimtinnul, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hadwadbodbetzimtinnul, he will turn you into a mouse.

Hadwadbodbetzimtinnul's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Hadwadbodbetzimtinnul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Respect your elders.