Pogtinont is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, ill-tempered scorpion.

Pogtinont created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pogtinont, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pogtinont, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Pogtinont's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Pogtinont's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray jumpers.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near rats while wearing fawn boots and balancing four zinc spheres on your arms.