Tinmadstik is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful cow.

Tinmadstik created a down quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinmadstik, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tinmadstik, she will turn you into a hamster.

Tinmadstik's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Tinmadstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never wear violet trousers.