Bastlikved is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, loving crocodile.

Bastlikved created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastlikved, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bastlikved, it will not invite you to parties.

Bastlikved's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bastlikved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Bastlikved in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not wear fawn clothing.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.