Negvaggubnatbarn Yogfas is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, passionate meerkat.

Negvaggubnatbarn Yogfas created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negvaggubnatbarn Yogfas, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Negvaggubnatbarn Yogfas, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Negvaggubnatbarn Yogfas' most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Negvaggubnatbarn Yogfas' Holy Commandments

1. Negvaggubnatbarn Yogfas must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think about special relativity near sheep while wearing green trousers and balancing seven nickel spheres on your chest.