Hivstikmut is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, bad-tempered newt.

Hivstikmut created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivstikmut, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hivstikmut, he will torture you forever.

Hivstikmut's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Hivstikmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. You must love Hivstikmut.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Hivstikmut on top of all buildings.