Vegtimvonjip is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, resourceful mouse.

Vegtimvonjip created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegtimvonjip, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vegtimvonjip, she will turn you into a rock.

Vegtimvonjip's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Vegtimvonjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Never eat tomatoes.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.