Besstomdod is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, grumpy scorpion.

Besstomdod created the Sombrero Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Besstomdod, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Besstomdod, it will jump up and down on your head.

Besstomdod's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Besstomdod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near snakes while wearing purple jumpers and balancing five platinum spheres on your legs.

2. Feed all hungry shrews.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Besstomdod loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink alcohol.