Bunlargort is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, annoying goat.

Bunlargort created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bunlargort, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bunlargort, he will turn you into a mole.

Bunlargort's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bunlargort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bunlargort's name in vain.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Do not hurt tortoises.

4. Never think about dark energy near squirrels while wearing orange jumpers and balancing seven zinc spheres on your legs.

5. Retreat if six snails approach from the west.