Bitrappan is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, benevolent guinea pig.

Bitrappan created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bitrappan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitrappan, she will destroy your home planet.

Bitrappan's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bitrappan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured pigs.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not make images of living things.