Jipnilhon Bogtapmeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, passionate dryad.

Jipnilhon Bogtapmeg created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipnilhon Bogtapmeg, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jipnilhon Bogtapmeg, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jipnilhon Bogtapmeg's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Jipnilhon Bogtapmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

5. Fast once a month.