Fedkopjen is a god.

It takes the form of a large, humorless horse.

Fedkopjen created silver eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fedkopjen, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fedkopjen, it will turn you into a snail.

Fedkopjen's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Fedkopjen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about ultrasonics.

4. Never sing near squirrels.

5. Do not take Fedkopjen's name in vain.