Lablaprag is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, merciless grasshopper.

Lablaprag created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lablaprag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lablaprag, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Lablaprag's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Lablaprag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Lablaprag in the centre of the settlement.

5. Learn six new languages a year.